Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
this hospital has no fireball
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
