ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
