haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
