Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The feeling are messing with the penis
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
