She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
