me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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