remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
