apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
