he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
