You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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