I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
