dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize