Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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