Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize