her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
