It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
