wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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