i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
