I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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