Life is so much better after having sex.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
