you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
