i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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