I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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