So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
