It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize