and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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