Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
