worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
