the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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