Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
