Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
