the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
