I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
