That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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