so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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