one might say we're banned from that church
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize