I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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