I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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