I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
