I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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