I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
