umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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