I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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