She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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