Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
