I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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