you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
