youre lurking in front of me
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
