Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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