i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think I sprained my soul last night
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize