I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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