Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
