you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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