This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
