11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
