Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
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