I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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