Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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