I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
