Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
