what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
