So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
