I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
And then my night got REAL pukey
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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