Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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