Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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