did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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