I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
