Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
