I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
