i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
