hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
