i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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